Sunday, December 14, 2008

I don't understand why....

For those that have been reading my blog for awhile you will remember that just as school was letting out for summer a mother that I played adult soccer with took her own life. She left behind a husband and three wonderful children. I had played soccer with both the husband and the wife. My son played soccer with one of their kids. I knew the children from working at the school. It was a tough day for many, the pain the family experienced I can't even begin to imagine.

Several days ago I heard that another girl from our soccer team was missing. I read in today's newspaper that she had been found in the mountains. She was 21 years old. She too decided that life was too hard and she took her own life. She was so nice, so talented, so smart. I can only begin to imagine how her parents are feeling. The pain must be nearly unbearable for them.

The young girl also had two friends take their own lives recently. I don't understand how this can keep continuing, turning into a type of domino effect. When does a person finally say "This is enough. Enough loss. Enough heartache. Enough pain for those that are left behind. I will not cause this kind of pain for my loved ones. I will not do what they just did to me. Enough."

By taking their own lives and ending their temporary pain, they have given a huge burden of pain to those that are left behind. No parent should have to deal with this kind of pain. Children need their mommies. When does it stop?

I don't think I can express my feelings very well, so I will just leave it simple, that my thoughts and prayers are with these families and loved ones.


Anonymous said...

Carin I had a long comment ready to post, but I thought I better not. This subject gets me very heated. It makes me so angry when people take the easy way out.

A few years ago a Sherriff deputy committed suicide here in our county because his gf left him. They did the fancy law enforcement burial like he had been killed in the line of duty. Now they have decals on all the police/sheriff vehicles in memory of him. He's being glorified like a hero and he was a coward. He was very involved in the schools by talking about drugs and violence. What does his suicide tell the kids he worked with?

The J's said...

I think you said it pretty well. All & all it's a pretty selfish thing. It's a very sad thing, because there is always a way out. I'm so thankful that there is a way "UP!" I cannot begin to understand a situation like the comment above. It's a crime to kill someone else, why should it be "o.k." to kill ourselves?

Anonymous said...

During school we had a presentation given by a woman who suffered from depression and she said when she contemplated suicide it was ALL she could do not to try to kill herself-even in the hospital she had to hold herself back from trying to jump out the window. Her way of expressing it helped me to understand a little of the depth of horror some people face. And yes unfortunately one suicide can start a domino effect. If you ever suspect someone is feeling suicidal ask them-- you'll never put the idea in someone's head if it isn't there and you could just save a life. It's a wonderful feeling. And it is a crime to hurt yourself. People are held under a mental health commitment and can be forced/committed into treatment facilities.

Anonymous said...

I suppose there are reasons behind everything-and we probably all know somebody who opted out of life but I can't help but feel like everybody else-it is just flat wrong and doesn't solve anything. If only they could see that!!

I only hope that my own family doesn't ever take this option because it isn't an option.


Rocky Mtn. Girl said...

This is so very very sad indeed and my heart goes out to those that are suffering from what has happened.

There are so many reasons why someone would take their own lives and sometimes for selfish reasons and it makes me angry as well! My father took his own life after he physically beat me to a pulp and took the life away of my sister and before he was charged with murder. That did make me angry. And then I became very ill for a long long time and depressed. You can only imagine.
Living with an illness caused by his abusive hands and not having my twin sister with me anymore because he took her away. I lived with guilt for years... I also became suicidal. Do not be angry at me for wanting to take the "easy way out". I had nobody left. I was alone, very alone.
I lived out on the streets, I had no family, I was an outcast with epilepsy and seriously sad and all my life told I was a horrible person and the "one that should have died".
Feel sorry for those people and get help for them. Be understanding and nurture them. Teach them that there is help for them, don't threatened them that people will be angry if they do this, it doesn't help, trust me!
Hug them, and just let them know the avenues for them to walk down so that they can get back on their feet. It's so important.
I have been there, it's a scary place. All I wanted was someone to talk to, someone to understand the pain, someone to offer warmth, not to scream at me or to tell me the world would be upset if I would do this because at that time, that's NOT what I wanted...
I'm glad today that my attempts were foiled and I'm here today.
I have a wonderful husband and life is going as well as expected.


Cy said...

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! It is also the most selfish act a person can perform. In many/most cases the pain left behind lasts for decades, or a lifetime. I think CJ still gets depressed in June every year - almost 24 years after Ken took his life.

For a lifetime, those left behind will ask themselves, "Why didn't I see it coming?", "How could I have stopped it?", "What could I have done differntly/better?" - questions that will only torment them...questions with no answers...


Cy said...

PS Here is a resource for suicide


Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so sorry and sad to hear this. It breaks my heart when people loose all hope. It's terrible for their family. This post brought tears to my eyes. Two winters ago, my husband and I knew 3 people who attempted suicide. Because he's the preacher, he was called each time. It's so hard and it does seem to all happen at once. My heart goes out to these families.