Sunday, December 20, 2009

Limelight?

The boys had their Christmas programs last week.  My middle son about broke my heart.

His teacher called me before the program to let me know he was not doing well.  I asked her to try to get him up on stage and she said she would do her best.   As he walked up to the stage I could see he was not himself.  He never did see me during the performance which probably didn’t help things.  He did OK during the performance and occasionally I saw him try to sing or do the moves.  Mostly he was just trying to get through it I could see.

At the end the music teacher invited parents to come take pictures up in front….  All the attention was overwhelming for my son.December 040As I watched him my heart started to break. December 041 His pain was suddenly my pain.  I ran up there whispered to his teacher I thought he needed to get off the stage.  He finally saw me then as I waved him down.  He fell into my arms and the tears started flowing. 

This little boy that climbs effortlessly on top of buildings, jumps and races his motorcycle as fast as  it goes, plays hockey, soccer, baseball, wrestles his brother twice his weight, has no fear of heights, is a monkey on the loose…… is a marshmallow on the inside. 

He breaks my heart.  I wish I knew what to say or what to do.  I know I can love him and encourage him and support him…I hope that’s enough for now.

19 comments:

babyyahyah said...

awww.... see, my second son is EXACTLY that way too. actually the littlest son too. But last year they did a christmas thing like that in their preschools (they were both in preschool last year) and my sons were not happy about standing in front of the class to sing. they looked exactly like that. All the other parents were beaming over their kids while I was crying inside for my sons...and mine are like that too they are great in other things like sports but standing in front of the parents to sing was not their forte at all.

He & Me + 3 said...

Aww, that post broke my heart too. Poor little guy. My friends daughter had that problem too and so we made up these fake pills for stage fright and they seemed to do the trick. What a sweet sensitive boy you have.
I get that nervous in front of people too and yet my mom still sticks me on stage to sing.

Alice said...

bless his heart! i just love him! hang in there, mom. let him excel where he does, and walk him through the rest. and pray alot :)

Wrena said...

Give Colter ~ a high 5 from US he did awsome!

carrielt said...

Oh Carin that poor little guy. I just wanted to cry for him! I can only imagine how your heart was breaking.

Rae said...

Dear Softy's Mama,
I can totally understand the feeling. I always thought the preformance wasn't worth the pain for some kids. My boy gets all gruff and tough when things like this happen. He worked for weeks on his "brate-dancing routine" for our family talent show and then announced that night that "his bat (back) was broten so he tould not brate-dance! Oh well!
Love,
Broten Hearted in NE

Clair said...

Bless his little heart. It's amazing how they surprise us with the thing they don't have the confidence for. I'm sure in your loving home he'll learn to cope with the things he doesn't enjoy and eventually grow to enjoy them...even a little bit.

Cy said...

Sounds like it's not his thing. I can relate. But you being there to wipe the tears and hurt with him is the best thing you could do. Keep it up mom.

When he makes that touchdown for the Chargers and looks at the camera, what he will say is "Hi Mom." because you were always there...

Alicia said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! OH my gosh...what a sweetie!! I would have broken down with him. I know..I'm a softy!! I think you did the right thing. Just keep encouraging him, Carin, and give him a hug from me too! Aww!

jen@odbt said...

Oh...I feel for you and your guy. You're a good mama for rescuing him. You did the right thing.

The Not So Perfect Housewife said...

Aww. Your such a great mommy though letting him get down. Sometimes we push our children too much to preform and all they just need is love.

Just hug him to death and remind him he is loved!!

Ben, Heather and kids said...

I feel like I'm repeating.. but..
awww!
If there ever was a picture to speak a 1000 words.. these are it.
I've learned that no matter how big/brave my boys (big and small) appear to be, there's a little soft spot that often surfaces!

Anonymous said...

Now look what he did......he`s got tears running down gramma`s cheeks too!! cbinu

Anonymous said...

Now look what he did......he`s got tears running down gramma`s cheeks too!! cbinu

The J's said...

oh boy!! Those pictures sure get me, I can see why it about broke your heart! You did great. No sense of pushing them to do something like that where it makes them so miserable. He'll grow into it although he may never feel terribly comfortable in it!

Cheryl said...

Bless his heart, made me sad to just to read this and oh that precious face. Maybe in a few years it will be better.

Huggsss from NC

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...

Oh no... That's my Michael. We went to a play at a local theatre and he said, "Mom, how do those people DO that? Don't they know everyone is looking at them???"

chili pepper said...

Oh, dear Carin.

I was like this until recently even. God has given me the grace to have boldness in my more current years. As a teenager, my father wanted so much for me to audition for a show that our school was doing. I had performed in groups my all life and I was fine with that. But as a solo... it terrified me. Well, this was so important to my dad that I went to the audition. I broke into tears on the stage in front of the director and others running the audition no to mention those from my highschool who were milling around to watch the people trying out. I was mortified. I still am if I think about it too long. But I lived through it. I never told my dad because I was so embarrassed for it. Now, I wonder why was it so important? So what if that was not my thing? I turned out to be a pretty ok person without being able to sing and dance and act solo. Your son will be ok... he has other strengths... leave that stuff to those who prefer and let him excel at jumping off of buildings.

Just my two cents anwyay. Don't you love that you can hit that delete button?

Sharon said...

So sweet. It brought tears to my eyes. What a sweet heart he has!